Me, Myself & "I"

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”

I Dare You To Work On Yourself

Addiction = Greed = Selfishness

The "I" in (Me, Myself and "I")

Selfishness = Greed

When is it okay to be selfish? Research shows that as addicts, we are inherently selfish. Because of this, we live under a simple but dangerous equation: Addiction = Selfishness & Selfishness = Greed. Greed leads to a quest for self-gain over those responsibilities you have to your soul, your support systems, and your community. It is you acting impulsively without purpose or thought. It is flawed action generated from a damaged soul. While this greed may create a sense of euphoria for a moment, it will ultimately lead to shame, regret, depression, and possibly using.

In recovery there is a place for selfishness. The objective of your recovery is to stay free of drugs and alcohol which requires a bit of selfishness. However, to remain sober, it is paramount that your addictive generated selfishness is transformed into selflessness. When you find satisfaction through selfless engagement rather than addictive pleasures, you are on your way to finding sustainable sobriety.

The reason such a transformation works is selfless engagement allows you to enter society without expectations. You are stepping into your community no longer thinking solely about yourself, but rather how you can contribute to the greater good. Imagine entering the workplace with purpose and intention, interacting with family based on appreciation and joy, and entering the public domain with curiosity and humility. A selfless approach to your relationships, responsibilities, and hobbies makes life much simpler to navigate.

The fact is, if you approach life in any other manner, you are being greedy. And greediness will ultimately limit outcomes. The limiting of outcomes causes cravings, anger, resentment, frustration, and many other negative emotions. When these emotions enter your soul, you become a taker rather than a contributor and the result of this selfish action tends to harm far more people than yourself.

Selflessness = Greatness

On the other hand, selflessness opens possibilities. Selflessness = Greatness and Greatness = Inspiration. Selflessness is the act of doing the right thing, making decisions based on your core principles, and living a purpose driven life. It is easy to find individuals operating under these rules. When you are witnessing kindness, forgiveness, authenticity, and accountability, you are witnessing selflessness. When you see an individual performing above all others with integrity and determination, you are witnessing a selfless approach. For Example:

When athletes make it about the team rather than their stats;
When your partner makes you the priority rather than their phone, social media, or needs;
When a friend accepts you for who you are and not who they want you to be;
When a co-worker asks not what's in it for them, but what's in it for the customer, co-worker, or company;

The examples above show individuals that contribute to our society. Their purposeful action inspires others to do the same and this is the true value selfless behavior. When you act selflessly, you are creating an inspiring energy that leads to greater contribution.

To be this contributor takes no special talent, experience, or skill set. It merely takes a willingness to look beyond yourself in all that you do. It requires you to take the tools, resources, and attributes that you have been blessed with and use them to learn, grow, and participate in life. It's not about knowing it all, always being right, or having every solution. It is only about living life with a thirsty curiosity about how best to contribute. It is about doing the next best thing, time and time again.

Find Your Way to a Greater Good?

Staying sober is your priority. When using, you are immediately returned to that greedy state of addiction. This state is helpful to no one. Thus, there are times to be selfish in your recovery, but healthy selfishness is what you want. Healthy selfishness requires a proactive approach to life that eliminates those reactionary defects of character that appear without warning. When anger, frustration, resentment, rationalization, and blame are your answer to a situation, or more concerning, allowed to fester in your being for a lengthy period, you are still saddled with the illness of greed.

These adverse reactions are nothing more than your brain wanting to satisfy its addictive nature. Without drugs or alcohol to provide solace to those uncomfortable feelings, your mind looks to pacify its needs through other destructive responses. These responses look like anger, blame, resentment, or even hopelessness or sadness. These reactions give you a sense of power and serve to temporarily calm your damaged soul. Unfortunately, like when using, regret or shame follows such reactions and take a bad situation and makes it worse. Only when you take positive action will this destruction end right there; otherwise, it will compound into something unmanageable.

To beat this cycle of dysfunction, you must live selflessly. This process starts with positive choices in preparation for those triggering life events that are guaranteed to occur. It is a whole-body approach that involves the physical as well as the mental side of your being. It is an honesty to accept who you are and a commitment to be the person you wish to be. It is a desire to be selfless in how you contribute to those who are a part of your life.

Everyone is unique in what tools they need to create a healthy selfishness. However, there are some standard attributes a selfless contributor embodies as well as those qualities unique to you. Be selfish as you take the time to identify and incorporate those attributes that will make you a selfless contributor.

Below are several standard attributes recovering addicts must incorporate before they can find their selflessness nature.

Attendance at NA/AA Meetings
Regular Exercise
Absolute Honesty
A Set of Core Principles
Appropriate Boundaries
Goals/Objectives
Financial Prudence
Never Ending Curiosity
A Life Purpose
Daily Meditation
Healthy Home
Sponsor
Continuous Learning
A Nutrition Plan
Time Management
Always Accountable
Service Work
A Focus on Reality
A Job or Career
Hobbies
Determination
Friends & Family
No Drugs or Alcohol

Repair past acts of selfishness

The result of taking time to strengthen your soul, through means like those listed above, helps to create the healthy selfishness you are looking to embody. It is a greedless approach that delivers the rewards of life. When you add these tools to your daily life, you are transforming your selfishness (addict) into selflessness (contributor). You are preparing yourself to live life as it is meant to be lived.

Your greed is nothing more than you trying to win at life, which is not the formula for a life that you love. For some reason, there is a societal belief that the more you can acquire, the happier you will be. The reality is, you have already won at life; you are alive. Plus, the greatness of life is not received through this type of winning.

The accumulation of things is simply the accumulation of things. It is not happiness, peace, or satisfaction. Being better than someone else is not succeeding in life. Getting back at or dominating another is not winning in life. Checking out of life by feeding yourself drugs and alcohol is not winning at life. This line of thinking is selling life short. Your goal is to quiet your addictive mind. All the money, dominance, knowledge, talent, or drugs cannot quiet your addictive mind. Only selfless intention generated from a purposeful life will create such an outcome. The outcome of living a life you love.

Be The Best Version Of Yourself
10 Ways To Be a Better Person Through Self-Development

1. Be Willing to Change

In order to become a better person, you have to be willing to change. Change is the only way to grow and progress into the person you want to become. Many people are against change, which can make it very hard to grow.

When you keep an open mind and are willing to change, you’ll learn how to be better and grow into the person you want to become.

2. Stop Making Excuses

Take accountability for your own mistakes is extremely important. I stopped making excuses, took the blame when it was truly my fault, and was able to achieve so much more. By understanding that I made a mistake, I was able to use my mistakes to learn, which in turn helped me become a better person.

3. Stop Being Angry

Many people let anger and rage alter their decision-making skills. Being a angry person only will damage relationships with people and increase blood pressure.

Controlling anger is an extremely difficult skill to master, but it is very beneficial. Instead of getting angry, I decided to find a way to change my negative emotion. Staying angry doesn’t help me or solve any problems. It only creates more of them.

4. Be a Role Model

Sometimes, you need to be a role model to someone to become a better you. You can start small and be a “big brother” to someone, coach a kids’ team, or be a role model to your children. No matter what you choose to do, always make decisions that the person looking up to you will respect.

5. Forgive Someone

Forgiving someone who hurt you is very difficult to do. When I got upset at someone for doing something, I could never forgive them. Even if it was a petty thing, I would hold it against them for the rest of their lives which was not healthy.

I quickly learned that humans are prone to making mistakes. Instead of holding mistakes against them for life, try to forgive someone. To learn how to be a better person and be happy, go through your past, and forgive someone that did something to hurt you.

6. Listen to People

People are extremely busy with their careers, families, and lives. Everyone is in a rush, but people rarely ever have time to listen to what others have to say. I learned that listening to people and giving everyone a voice is one of the greatest things you can do.

I got to meet some of the most amazing people, develop connections that will last me a lifetime, all because I took the time to listen to people.

Being a good listener can change your life in a positive manner.

7. Be Honest

Honest people are hard to come by nowadays. However, honesty is the best remedy for any situation. Promise yourself that you won’t tell any lies for a month straight. Challenge yourself to be honest by developing good habits. If you’re a compulsive liar, start small by trying to be honest for 1 day. After you accomplish a smaller goal, increase the goal by 2 or 3. This is one of the best tips on how to become the person you want to be.

8. Do Something You Don’t Want To

Keeping an open mind and trying things that you wouldn’t normally do is a very easy way to become a better person. Take a risk and challenge yourself to try something you’ve always been scared to do. You’ll only live your best life once you step out — here’s why.... Growing up, I was terrified of roller coasters. However, I eventually gave in as a teenager and had the time of my life. I would have never experienced roller coasters unless I had been willing to get over my fear and give it a shot. That one experience has led me to try numerous other new things.

9. Be In Service to Others

Turn around and do something kind for someone else. We feel better when we share, give, have compassion for others and ultimately support someone to smile in their life.

One of the most rewarding feelings in the world is knowing that you made someone smile. Surprise the special someone in your life by doing something out of the ordinary for them!

10. Take Good Care of Yourself

While you cannot control every circumstance you face, you can control how you respond. And how you respond is determined by how well you look after yourself. When you take care of yourself, you’ll grow as a human being and face every challenge in your environment.

Self-care is essential in building resilience when facing challenges. When you are tired and consume junk food all day, you are likely to react to the challenges you face in life. Reacting can create more problems for you and other people in your environment. You need to take good care of your body, mind, and soul to solve problems effectively.

You need to:

Sleep: Sleep plays an important role in promoting your physical and emotional well-being. Lack of enough sleep weakens your immunity, harms your focus, and leads to emotional imbalances. Sacrificing your sleep can take a toll on your body. The average adult needs seven to nine hours of sleep every night to function optimally.
Eat well: You need to consume nutritious foods regularly to feel happy and energetic. A poor diet will always leave you feeling tired and bloated. Consuming vegetables and fruits regularly will not only improve your health but also help you feel good about yourself.
Socialize: Connecting with others regularly is one of the best ways to deal with problems and negative emotions. While it’s challenging to find time for loved ones or even share your problems, socializing will make you a better human being.
Downtime: You need to allocate enough time for yourself. This means finding time to meditate, journal, and reflect. You can easily solve complex problems and become a better person by doing these exercises regularly.

Conclusion

We all want to Be The Best Version Of Yourself. And there are a lot of ways to improve ourselves. Improving yourself can help you achieve your goals and feel happy about yourself. When things get difficult, you don’t have to be too hard on yourself. By using the tips that I have shared here, you’ll not only solve your problems but also become a better human being.